Universes apart
by TimrousBeastie
Summary: An adventure to find the woman he loves. However long it takes... Slow start, but it gets better i promise :D 10,Rose, Jack, and a no. of aliens. Post Doomsday... No Martha because she destroys my Rose10 shippyness dreams
1. Why?

**Chapter 1**

"Rose!" She heard the Doctor's cry as he grabbed onto her hand. "Don't let me go!" She gripped at his hand desperately as she felt him being tugged away.

"Rose hold on!"

"I'm trying," she sobbed through the cacophony of sounds.

Light was blinding her. Screams, yells, bangs and shouts ripped through her. Her mind was in turmoil, trying to figure out what was happening. What was real, and what was not. All she was aware of was his hand within hers, and she knew, instinctively, that if she let go, it would be the end.

Wind whipped through her hair, and the noise grew until she could feel it throbbing through her.; tearing through the very core of her being. She felt her hand slipping from her grip; invisible forces determinedly trying to pull him away from her.

"Doctor!" she cried out in despair; her grip getting weaker and weaker.

The noise was relentless, and grew to a frenzied crescendo as the Doctor was repeatedly yanked from her – testing the limits of her strength to hold onto him. She knew that she couldn't do this for much longer, and a tear trickled down her cheek at the sheer hopelessness of it all.

There was a sudden lull, and the Doctor's face swam into vision.

"Goodbye Rose," he whispered…

And he was ripped from her as she screamed, light clawing at her eyes and wind howling around her.

* * *

She sat bolt upright, panting. Her heart shuddered in her chest, and a fresh sheen of sweat coated her face. She drew a shaky breath and felt her soaked pillow. Her eyes were red and sore, and she realised she'd been crying.

Every night it was the same. Ever since she'd lose him. Every night since she'd been _here_. The nightmares were identical. Word for word. Action for action. She trembled as she recollected the dream, and staggered to the bathroom.

She splashed some water on her face; the coldness giving her a sense of calm. As she slowly towelled herself, she let her tears soak into the soft material.

She hated it. She hated all of it. She hated life. She hated the whole planet. She hated the universe. She hated every single God she'd ever learnt about. Wasn't God supposed to love? Was God not all-powerful? Could he not right all the wrongs? She had just one question for this almighty _God_…

Why?

Why had this happened to her?

Why had she not been given a chance?

Why had she been taken from him so cruelly?

Why had they both had to live on alone?

Why couldn't they have forever together?

She crept back to bed, wanting to hide the shame of the dreams that that broke her heart again and again. As she cocooned herself in the warmth of the duvet, she wondered if given the chance, would she choose to never have met the Doctor?

_No…_the voice in her head stated firmly without hesitation. _Never._

And her eyes slid closed as she fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. A Reason To Go On

**A/N: Well, the next chapter's up... I'd be very grateful for some reviews... I've had the grand total of one so far (thank you to **gaiafreedom21 **:D)**

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****Chapter 2**

The Doctor sat with his head in his hands, tears dribbling down his wrists and soaking into the sleeve of his coat as he remembered his last words to Donna. "Her name was Rose." He had struggled in vain to keep from breaking down, and, now that he was alone, he could mourn her properly.

He allowed himself to sink further and further into his anguish, surrounding himself with memories. The sound of her laughter danced around him, and he could almost _feel_ her hand encased within his own.

He sobbed uncontrollably, slamming his whole body against the walls of the TARDIS control room again and again, punching it repeatedly and smashing his head against the metal, while all the while yelling through his choked tears, "No, no, NO!"

He tore at his clothes in desperate anger. Maybe if he punished himself enough, she'd be given back to him.

Finally, he sank down and came to rest at the foot of the wall. Blood slowly oozed out from a small cut on his forehead where he had repeatedly banged himself. His outburst had left him exhausted. Too tired to even cry, he sat there, his coat half torn of him, his shirt ripped, his hands bruised, and blood staining his collar as his eyes gradually slipped shut.

He woke five hours later, his eyes opening blearily – still stinging from his tears. His whole body ached painfully, and he reluctantly struggled up, gripping the edges of the stanchion for support. He would have sat there forever; just not caring. Only the thought of Rose kept him going. She wouldn't want to see him like this. She'd tell him to get out there and save the day again.

"Oh Rose," he muttered, his eyes filling with tears again. He angrily brushed them away. He would live his life. For her.

He limped to the bathroom, and peeled off his clothes. He gazed at his body and winced. There was barely a path of skin left that wasn't marked in some way. He had bruises all over his chest and knees. Scores of small cuts littered his stomach where he had ripped at his shirt. His eyes were red, and his hair stuck out at odd angles, matter with dried blood – a trickle of it had dried down the side of his face.

He gingerly stepped into the shower; the warm water soothing his aching muscles and washing the blood away.

After he had finally calmed down, he made his way to the control room to think things out, and to question himself…

He loved Rose – that much he knew – and he was never going to give up. He'd do everything in his power to find her. Everything… But he couldn't do it alone. He needed help.

But there was no one else. There was no one he trusted enough to help him. No one who would ever understand what Rose meant to him.

No one except…

He glanced at the extrapolator he'd tossed on the floor after the encounter with the Rachnos.

His eyes widened, and he gave his first real smile since Rose had gone. Now he had a goal. A motive. A reason to go on. And she was it. He grinned.

"Rose Tyler. I'm coming to get you!"

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**A/N: Yea, i know... Short chapter... But i'm struggling to try and study for my mocks; which begin in 5 days... and i have done NO revision. Oh well...**


	3. A Smile And A Whisper

**Chapter 3**

There was a knock at the door. "Rose?"

No answer. The door was tentatively swung open, revealing Jackie Tyler holding two mugs of tea. Rose was lying on the bed, fast asleep; the duvet wrapped around her.

Jackie carefully put the mugs on the bedside table, and sat on the edge of the bed. She took her daughter's hand between her own and gazed down at her. Her little girl. The one that never smiled. The one that never laughed. The one with the broken heart.

Rose no longer burst with the life she once had. It was as though she'd died inside.

Jackie stopped herself from crying. "Oh Rose," she muttered, "Why did it come to this?"

"Because I was taken from him," Rose whispered, her eyes flickering open.

Her mother took in her exhausted appearance, "you have to let go sweetheart. You have to live on. It's what he would've wanted…"

"You said that before Mum. You an' the Doctor." Rose's voice began to rise hysterically. "You both said that I couldn't return to him… But I did."

"But Rose. That was different. You had his TARDIS," her mother tried to reason with her.

"Exactly – and now the Doctor has his TARDIS. He'll come for me." Rose's face was set with determination. "The Doctor will come for me."

Jackie knew that there was nothing she could say or do to show Rose that she was trapped her for good. Part of her couldn't bear to hurt her daughter like that, and another small part wanted to believe she _was_ right – that the Doctor would find some way to return. He had to. Rose was lost without him.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Jackie asked gently, worry creasing her brow.

Rose sighed and nodded.

"The same one?"

"Yea," she said quietly. "Why d'you ask?"

"Pete and I heard you crying last night and:-"

"Oh. I'm sorry," Rose's voice was full of shame.

"Sweetheart! What are you sorry for?"

"For…For everything." Rose's voice was hoarse as she struggled not to cry. "I know I've been ignoring everyone lately… And I've been so depressing. I'm sorry."

"Honey, please. We all understand why. You can't apologise for something like that…"

Rose went on, ignoring her. "But that's all gonna change now. I'm gonna go back to work. And I'm gonna have a fantastic life – like the Doctor wanted." She managed a small smile, while Jackie beamed proudly.

An hour later, they were all sitting at the breakfast table. Rose was discussing with Pete her options at Torchwood. She knew that he was very high up there, and that he had the authority to give her any job she wanted. Mickey had come over, and was chipping in every so often – trying to persuade Rose to come back and work there. He needn't have bothered. Rose was already decided in the fact that she was going to – there was no way she could go back to her normal life after her adventures with the Doctor. No way.

While Pete and Mickey discussed where it would be best to put her, Rose gazed at her mother; vaguely smiling at the bump that was just beginning to show. They'd spent so long arguing on the best name to give the child, and they didn't even know its gender. Pete was adamant it was a boy, while Jackie just _knew_ it had to be a girl. Rose didn't mind either way, and had laughed when Pete had asked Jackie if she wanted to bet with him.

She gazed up at the ceiling, mentally thanking anyone who was intruding on her thoughts for her family. She didn't know what she would do without them. She allowed herself a smile and a whisper. "I'll never give up hope in you Doctor."


	4. Looking For A Long Lost Friend

**A/N: MAJOR TORCHWOOD SPOILERS!**

**Please don't read this chapter if you havn't seen Torchwood (i.e the last episode of it). I added it in to make this whole story slightly longer and more interesting - and it crosses over with Torchwood for the next few chapters. **

**If you havn't seen Torchwood (shame on you) then in the next chapter there will be a special author's note just for you, telling you which chapter you can come back to and read without any of those nasty spoilers :P I'll even throw in a non-spoilerish explanation of what happened in the few chapters that you couldn't read... **

**As for this chapter - you can read it through until you spot another A/N which has been specially added in for your benefit :P****

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**Chapter 4**

The Doctor had no idea where to find Jack. None at all. He figured he'd better go back to the last time he'd seen him… But that meant memories… That would mean awakening a past from long ago… From before he'd even regenerated.

He pulled the lever, making sure he'd get there a day after his past self. He was so tempted to run in there and snatch Rose away.

He'd keep her safe… Steal her from his 9th self and keep her from harm…

He shook his head to rid the thoughts. _No!_ Who knew what paradoxes he'd create? Not to mention that he did _not_ want to meet the emperor again…

No, no. He had to resist temptation.

* * *

The TARDIS materialised more or less exactly where it had when Rose had returned for him all those years ago. Or was it all those years ahead? 

Here he was.

Satellite 5.

He opened the doors carefully, breaking the deathly silence as they squeaked shut behind him. He gazed around, and all the memories hit him.

There he was, acting all excited, tricking her into going into the TARDIS…

There he was, sending her back…

He could hear her cries. Her shouts. Yelling at him to bring her back…

There he was, about to kill humankind – but backing out at the last moment. Always a coward…

There he was, standing tell, proud – knowing he is going to die, but relieved that Rose is safe…

But there she was, bathed in golden light, saving him again…

"My Doctor." Her voice swept through him.

There she was, slowly dying for him…

There he was, begging her to stop…

There they were, kissing. The soft golden glow surrounding them…

He could still feel her lips on his. Taste her within him…

He wrenched his thoughts away, _NO!_

He had a job to do.

Satellite 5 was a huge place. Where would Jack be? The Doctor crept out of the room, uncomfortable with destroying the silence. There was something eerie about this place, and he continued cautiously; the silence pressing down, almost crushing him.

He found… What was that? Dust? A small pile of dust in the middle of the corridor… Three piles of dust. But that wasn't what he was looking at.

A gun had been dropped to the side…

The Doctor remembered Jack's last words to him.

"_Doctor you've got twenty seconds maximum."_

Then he'd heard the Dalek's scream of exterminate…

But where was the body?

"_I bring life."_

Rose's words echoed around him.

Of course…

She'd brought him back.

He'd known that Jack had meant a lot to Rose. He was almost like a brother to her. If Rose could've done anything to resurrect him, then she would've done it without hesitation.

And with the power of the Bad Wolf, she had breathed life back into him.

So where had he gone now?

"Jack?!" He called, his voice cutting through the quiet and reverberating down the hall. He jogged back up to floor 500. Maybe Jack would be in the control room. It would be the most obvious place.

The lift doors opened, and he stepped out… Bodies were scattered everywhere. Those who had been brave enough to stand and fight against the Daleks – although the Doctor knew that downstairs there would be even more corpses.

Jack wasn't here. The whole room – the whole station – was void of any other life.

The Doctor swept back to the TARDIS in frustration. Jack had managed to find a way to get off. Probably hitchhiked or conned his way on board. The Doctor didn't know where to go now.

He guessed he should search for him back on Earth. But Earth was a huge place. Jack could be anywhere.

* * *

**(A/N: As promised, here is your Torchwood spoiler warning, so if you havn't seen Torchwood, and _want _to see it, STOP! ...On the other hand, if you have seen Torchwood, or havn't but don't give a damn, sorry for bugging you, and read on)**

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Suddenly, a high pitched wailing sounded within the TARDIS – the control panel flashing mauve.

"What?" the Doctor yelled in panic, "What is it?"

His fingers danced across the keypad, entering in figures and Gallifreyan symbols.

His eyes widened in shock,

The rift in Cardiff.

It was open.


	5. A Problem Shared

**A/N: Here I am again. Don't you just love me:D I said previously that I would tell all you people who didn't want Torchwood spoilers which chapter you could rejoin at. And i think you can come in at chapter 7... If it changes, then I'll keep you all updated. **

**As for this chapter, as before, you can read up until the notice. etc etc

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****Chapter 5**

Rose sat there, looking round her new office. Pete had offered her the job of Assistant Manager of Alien Communication – a fancy title for 'Second in command' – and Rose had jumped at the chance.

At first, her fellow co workers had been resentful – they had slogged their way up from the bottom and worked non-stop to get to their current positions… And then the rich girl came to be their commander. The nineteen year old girl with no GCSE's or A levels or Degrees – no qualifications whatsoever. She was just Daddy's girl – and even _then_ there was some speculation about that.

She had, however, soon blown them away with her extensive knowledge about alien species and her incomparable courage on the field. They had grown to respect her – to carry out her every order – because they understood that this mysterious girl knew what she was doing.

While they sang her praises, Rose just thanked the Doctor.

He had taught her so much on their travels.

She glanced at the solitary picture on her desk. It had been taken after their encounter with the Wire. The Doctor had just had a shower to wash out the copious amounts of gel he'd glazed his hair with, and Rose had managed to snap him as he'd tried to sneak past her to steal one of her many bars of chocolate that she'd brought on board. He'd just been tiptoeing past her holding his prize as she lounged on the couch, when she'd quickly whipped round and flashed the camera; catching his cheeky grin as he waved the chocolate at her.

She studied it, and couldn't help smiling back at his victorious grin.

"Thanks Doctor."

She was having her fantastic life – just like he'd told her all that time ago.

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**A:N FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! If you value your Torchwood non-spoilerish life, then stop now!

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Suddenly, there was a ring on the small device on her hip. Some small communications device that they'd found on some archaeological dig. They didn't know how it worked – only that it wasn't battery powered, and ran off some other energy source – but it was useful, and cost nothing. She pressed the button and held it closer to her face.

"Rose?"

"Hey Mickey."

His voice came across as strained, and Rose could tell that he was running. "Where are you Mick? What's wrong? Aren't you on leave for a while?" She asked, confused.

"I'm comin' in. Rose… Somethin's happened…"

"What?!" she said frantically. "What's happened?"

"I'll tell you when I get there. I'm almost at HQ. I'll see you in five."

And before she could protest, he switched it off. Sighing, she clipped it back to her hip and waited. She knew that something had got Mickey rattled.

A few minutes later he came hurtling into her office, panting for breath. She leapt up, going to him immediately. "Mickey, please. What's happened?" she said, panicking.

"We were down there. Cardiff. I was just doing a routine scan and:-"

"What happened to your break?!"

He smiled, "C'mon Rose. We work at Torchwood. We're never going to be able to just _completely_ stop working."

Rose narrowed her eyes slightly, but he continued on. "Anyway, I was just taking some readings and…well… We were around the Millennium Stadium… Do you remember what:-" he paused, not wanting to remind her of the past when she'd moved on so successfully. He took a deep breath. "Remember with the Doctor? You were in Cardiff to refuel the TARDIS or whatever…"

"Yea – the rift was an energy source for it."

"I know. And… I… Here, look at these readings." He handed her a sheet of computer printouts and she studied them. The small curious slightly worried look slowly turned to one of shock and horror – but Mickey could still detect a small spark of hope in her hazel eyes.

Her mouth opened slightly. "No," she gasped.

"Rose. It's no mistake – I checked those results 3 times. Always the same answer."

"How?"

He shrugged, "We can't figure it out. That's why I need your help – this kind of thing seems just the kind of thing you know about."

She shook her head, still dazed. "Mickey, I have no idea!" she said helplessly. "The rift is open, and the Doctor's not here to stop it!"

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**A/N: I realise now, that this would'v also been a good story plot - for the Doctor/Rose to miraculously go through the rift and arrive in the other universe and meet one another.**

**I'm afraid this will not happen - though on retrospect it may've worked just as well. Oh well... Sorry to dash any hopes :S but this story will continue on...**


	6. A Dead Friend

**A/N: Please don't read this if you havn't seen Torchwood - it contains major spoilers...**

**P.S. I'm sorry for not updating a while - this is the first time I've been on the computer long enough to type up a chapter, as I'm in the middle of mocks. Fortunately I have only one week left, then I'll do some serious updating of this fic.**

**Thanks all for your patience and reviews :D**

**And I also must warn you, there is a bit of Doc/Jack... sorry, I couldn't resist... not much - but if you find offense at that kind of thing, then skip it out...

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****Chapter 6**

He frantically punched in the co ordinates to Cardiff, yanking on a few levers and slamming down buttons.

"C'mon, c'mon!" the Doctor shouted in panic. The TARDIS creaked and groaned in protest as the Doctor sent her back to Cardiff.

"2006. Just opened. Go. HURRY!" He urged his ship on.

His ship gave an jarring screech, and refused to go any further – instead, materializing above the city amongst the clouds.

"What?" he almost screamed. "What do you think you're _doing_? We have to get down there!"

He felt the TARDIS within his mind.

_Hush,_ it reassured him, _Just watch. _

"Where are we?" he demanded.

_Look for yourself. _And the TARDIS brought up the monitor.

"No," the Doctor breathed. There, on screen, was the huge form of Abadon.

"Get down there!" he whimpered desperately.

The TARDIS refused. _Just watch,_ she insisted.

So the Doctor was forced to watch as Abadon wreaked havoc on the terrified hoards of people trying to escape him.

"Why?" he asked. "Why don't you let me down and save them?"

The TARDIS gave him no answer, but he felt her warm caress in his mind, calming him. And before he could say another word, a figure appeared on the screen. The Doctor gave a small gasp. "Jack!"

Jack was saying something. The Doctor could just about see a woman in the shadows. What was going:-

Then it became clear. And the Doctor's heart stopped at the sudden realisation. Jack walked slowly over to Abadon, stopping in front of him, waiting to be noticed.

"No," the Doctor whispered, praying that Jack could hear him, "you'll be killed!" And he was forced to watch on helplessly, his mouth open in a silent yell, as he saw the life seep out of his old friend.

Finally Jack dropped to the ground alongside the great beast, and in doing so, sealed the rift.

The Doctor let out a shuddering breath, wrenching his gaze away from the unmoving figure and turning on the TARDIS.

"WHY?!" he bellowed. "I could have SAVED him. I could've saved them all!" He went on, kicking the console and roaring at the top of his voice. "First Rose. Now Jack. Why are they all taken from me!?" The TARDIS waited as the Doctor's yells filled her many halls - her low gentle hum reverberating through him, trying to soothe him - then she spoke.

_How Doctor?_

The Doctor raised his head with a questioning look.

_How would you have saved him? How would you have stopped Abadon?_

The Doctor could not answer.

_This was the only way. Jack understood. He knew this was how it had to be…_

"How?" The Doctor asked her quietly, "Abadon has killed countless numbers of people. Why was _Jack_ any different? How could a human destroy him?"

_You forget Doctor, that although you know everything about the universe, you know very little of the vortex that carries you through it. Rose took in the vortex, and used it to bring Jack back to the world of the living… Jack has had the vortex within him, and now he is changed… It is Jack's story to tell…_

"Well he's dead!"

_Shh, Doctor, and wait. The universe has not been kind to you. But you must keep faith._

And with that, the TARDIS began to move.

"Now where are you going?" the Doctor asked, not really caring. He glanced at the coordinates.

_We're going to pay Torchwood a visit. And see a good friend._

"Or his corpse," he muttered in response.

* * *

The TARDIS shook and juddered as she landed. The Doctor half-heartedly hauled himself up, and was just heading to the doors – hoping that the TARDIS had managed to land somewhere inconspicuous – when the doors flew open.

"Jack!" the Doctor's mouth dropped open.

Jack slammed the doors behind him, not even glancing at the Doctor, yelling "GO!"

The TARDIS needed no telling twice. She dematerialized and retreated to the vortex. She knew that her occupants would need peace and quiet to sort things out.

As the Doctor got over his shock, Jack took in the Timelord's appearance. Before he could say anything, however, the Doctor jumped in first. "Now Jack. I know this is awkward, but I need you to trust me. It's me. It's the Doctor."

Jack looked uncertain, but allowed the Doctor to continue.

"I know I don't look the same as before. But I was dying… I had to regenerate… Kinda' hard to explain. Honestly – I swear it's me."

"Doctor?" Jack said, half suspicious, half trusting.

The Doctor grinned, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

Jack gave a wry smile and strode over to the Doctor.

The Doctor, expecting some sort of reunion hug, was taken totally by surprise when Jack's fist flew into his face, sending him sprawling to the floor.

"What the hell was that for?" the Doctor spat, leaping up angrily.

"For leaving me!" Jack retorted harshly – but sadness shone through his eyes. The Doctor felt a twinge of guilt, "Jack I:-" But he was silenced as Jack took his chin in his hands and kissed him thoroughly.

It was over by the time the Doctor regained his senses.

"What was _that_ for?" he asked in shock and wonder, and a small part in guilty pleasure.

Oh he could just forget everything with Jack. Drown his sorrows in him. Force his resentment and anguish back into the depths of his mind as he ran his hands over the smooth supple skin of Jack's body:-

_NO!_ he said angrily to himself. Jack was a friend. He couldn't – wouldn't – use him like that. He had feelings for Jack, yes… but not those feelings. He would just be abusing Jack's trust in him – using him as an outlet for his anger and sadness.

Jack's mouth twitched slightly in amusement. "For coming back to me."

"Jack. I… I can't. It's…"

"I know, I know. You love Rose. I could always tell. The way you gave me your look of death whenever I so much as _glanced_ at her made it quite:-" He paused, noticing that the Doctor looked as though he was struggling not to cry. "Doctor?"

"Jack. I. She…" The Doctor couldn't speak for the pain constricting his chest, and broke down.

"Doctor – what the hell? What happened?"

"Oh Jack. She… She… Rose is gone," he said between sobs.

And, as Jack comforted him, the Doctor began to tell him all that had happened…

And the two old friends told one another their stories.

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**A/N: And I promise to update as soon as possible. :D**

**Hope you enjoyed it.**


	7. Confusion

**A/N: Right, this is the last chapter with Torchwood spoilers you'll be glad to know. This will also, most probably, be the last chapter about Rose for a while. Sorry if that bugs you, but originally she wasn't going to be in it - it's only really because of this Torchwood bit that I decided to add her in. I apologize for this, but i really need to put all my effort into the Doctor and Jack's adventures, as they are like.. the whole point of this story... **

**This is also rather short, but only because I had to keep cutting off at points to keep switching from Rose back to the Doctor. Seeing as this is Rose's last chapter for a while, the next chapters should be longer... :D

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Chapter 7

They didn't dare drive the vans any closer – who knew what that kind of energy could do? Rose slowly climbed out, despite her team's pleas, and shut the door behind her.

Torchwood had, of course, immediately closed off the area to all civilians, police and armed forced… So Rose was in peace.

It was right there. About ten metres in front of her. A brilliant blue light, intricately swirling and entwining itself into amazing patterns. It really was beautiful. And it brought back so many memories. The rift was deadly, she knew, and unpredictable… But somehow, being near it filled her with a sense of peace. It was a small connection to the Doctor.

She smiled slightly, not able to tear her gaze away from the piercing blue. It was the same colour, she thought vaguely, as her first Doctor's eyes.

"Rose?" A voice shocked her out of her reverie. She glanced back at the van.

Mickey had rolled down the window and was beckoning for her to come over. She absently wandered over.

"We've had reports of strange sightings." He told her.

She shrugged, "well Mickey, there's a huge blinding light in the middle of Cardiff – I'm not surprised."

"No Rose. Reports from everywhere. From all over the globe."

Rose glanced at him strangely, "like what?"

"Well here, look." He flipped open his laptop and showed it to her. On screen was a picture of a group of Indians, all dressed up in a tribal uniform.

Before Rose could say anything, Mickey brought up another photo. Rose's eyes narrowed in confusion as she recognised a bewildered-looking pharaoh. Mickey showed her more pictures of Roman soldiers, various world leaders, kings, queens, musicians… the list went on and on… It was like opening up a history picture book and giving life to all the illustrations.

"Rose. This is not normal."

"Maybe it's some huge fancy dress party?" she said weakly.

"Rose. What's happening here?!"

And for the first time since she'd joined Torchwood, Rose was terrified. Sure, she'd been scared before in other situations – where negotiations with aliens had gone wrong, or when she'd had to lead her team into battle…. But this was different.

Of course she'd knows that one day something like this would happen. She'd known that this good luck wouldn't last – and that she'd have to pay for it.

Ever since her first assignment, she'd known that all her team were in awe of her – but inside she knew that this was all luck. Her knowledge of space and its inhabitants was scarce. Yes, the Doctor had taught her things no human would ever know… But a lot of her success had come from pure guesswork and luck. Now her team had come to rely on her – to believe she would always have the solution… And time had finally caught up with her – and she didn't know what to do.

She tried to think of what little knowledge she had about the rift. It obviously ran right through time – proved by the fact that history was spewing out its contents into 2006 Cardiff. But why was it open? It only ever opened when there was some real disturbance, and, as far as Rose could tell, nothing had happened to create this god-awful mess. She didn't know how this whole thing had begun, and she had no idea how to end it.

She turned away, and walked back towards it.

"Rose?" Mickey called after her.

"I'll be fine Mickey, I just want to see if there's something we've missed." Maybe the rift would hold a clue as how to close it…

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, it vanished.

Just like that. The piercing blue light just suddenly disappeared.

Rose stopped and stared at the deserted street. Just what the hell had happened?

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**A/N: Right, and that's me finished for a while. I probably won't be able to update until next weekend - blame my lovely school for giving us FUN mocks :D**


	8. Burning Flesh

**A/N: Wow! It's an update :D I'm sorry I kept all of you guys waiting :S guilty look But i have a reasonable excuse - I LOST half my story... Well, I say half... I mean, everything from chapter 6 upwards; so I've just had to rewrite a whole load of it... Inbetween exams and revision (which is always a blast by the way - you gotta love GCSE's) . So anyway, I'm _slightly..._disheartened by this (goddamn it mutters incoherently) and it is rather a setback to the overall proceedings of this piece... But hey...**

**And PLEASE can someone sympathise with me about how hard it is to resist Jack/Doc moments? Argh!

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Chapter 8

The TARDIS was silent, save for the ever present humming and the soft breathing of it's occupants.

The two reunited friends had told their tales, and had laughed and had cried with one another. Jack told the Doctor about setting up a third Torchwood – in the hope of finding him again. And the Doctor had told Jack about everything that had happened since he'd gone. It had taken hours, and when the Doctor had finally got to the part where Rose had fallen, he could barely go on. He's told Jack how guilty he was that he'd never told Rose how much he loved her.

And just before they'd collapsed, overcome by emotional exhaustion, and fallen asleep, they both agreed to vow to never give up looking and to find a way to get back to her.

* * *

The Doctor woke first, and for a moment he lay there, wondering what had woken him. There was a moan from his right, and he turned to face Jack; his eyes widening slightly in surprise. 

Jack was curled up in a tight ball, all his muscles clenched, his eyes squeezed shut, and his teeth gritted. He was panting furiously, and the Doctor noticed that his hands were balled up in such tight fists, that his nails were cutting into his palms.

"Jack," the Doctor said softly, gripping him by the shoulder. He cried out in pain as Jack's hand shot out and gripped his arm – his nails sinking into the Doctor's flesh. The Doctor's whimpers of pain were nothing compared to Jack's – he was almost screaming in terror.

"JACK!" the Doctor yelled in his face.

Jack's eyes snapped open, their crystal blue contrasting to the pale comparison of his cheeks.

"I. Doctor? It… It…" he stuttered, his grip on the Doctor loosening as he shook.

"Shh, it's ok." The Doctor looked at him, concerned at just what was going on behind those sapphire eyes.

The Doctor winced slightly as Jack's nails slid out of his arm, small trickled of blood dribbling down to his wrist. He ignored it and helped Jack sit up, still gasping for breath and trembling violently. The American retched emptily as his eyes watered.

"D-D-Doctor," he spluttered between gulps.

"Shh, just calm down. Relax." The Doctor comforted him as best he could, and gradually Jack's breathing began to slow and turned back to his normal rate – although he was still shaking.

"I… I'm cold," he said, his teeth practically chattering as he shivered.

The Doctor helped him up without a word, and Jack gratefully leant onto his shoulder. Together they staggered to Jack's old room.

* * *

The Doctor noticed that every so often, Jack's eyes would occasionally go out of focus. He knew that look very well, as it was one Rose had often adopted when trying to remember something. He didn't question it, but carried on walking and kicked Jack's door open gently, manoeuvring Jack to the bed. 

As Jack's weight left his shoulders to fall on the bed, he sighed in relief. After a second to rest, he helped Jack under the duvet.

As Jack leant back into the plush pillows, he smiled slightly.

"What?" the Doctor said suspiciously – Jack only ever used _that_ smile when he was thinking particularly dirty thoughts.

"Well I was just thinking. I'm here in my bed. You're here looking at me. This would be the best opportunity to… take advantage of me…"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "Or not."

Jack pouted and faked a sigh, "still in denial Doctor?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and sat cross-legged on the foot of Jack's bed.

Silence reigned for a few minutes as the Doctor's eyes roamed over Jack's face, apparently lost in deep thought. Jack was never one to feel self-conscious, and he knew that the Doctor wasn't actually looking at him – just exercising his huge brain… But still, with the Doctor's piercing brown stare trailing over him, Jack was starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

"Doc?" he said tentatively.

The Doctor jerked as if startled, and he focussed on Jack. "Mmm?"

"What are you thinking?"

The Doctor paused, "I'm wondering why you almost gave me a heart attack as you had your little fit on the floor earlier."

Jack's demeanour instantly and subconsciously changed. He crossed his arms over his chest, both closing him off and drawing the covers further up his body. His head pressed further back into the pillows, and the muscles in his jaw tightened.

Although Jack himself did not notice the changes, the Doctor did, and realised that this was obviously a subject that Jack did not like to talk about.

"I don't know," he said through clenched teeth.

"What?" the Doctor sounded incredulous.

"I said I don't know…"

"Jack," the Doctor's tone was slightly softer, "you don't have to lie. There's nothing you need to prove to me."

"I'm not trying to prove _anything_!" Jack bit back a snarl, "I honestly don't know!"

The Doctor sensed Jack's anger and stopped. He knew there was no point in continuing – Jack would talk to him when he felt like it.

As they sat there, again in silence, Jack's mind was in turmoil. He wasn't lying to the Doctor – he _didn't_ know why he had started having these attacks. How could he explain to the Doctor?

He'd wake up in the night yelling and crying and would never know why. It was a nightmare, he knew – but about what, he could never remember. The only evidence of it was the pure guilt-ridden anguish that racked his mind afterwards, and memories that haunted his very being, but that he could not place. Every night he would go to bed, dreading the horrors that would inevitably come in sleep, yet unable to avoid them.

"It's a dream," he said slowly.

The Doctor's eyes flickered over to him. "A dream?"

Jack tried to continue, "I think so… I can't remember it… But it hurts… Doctor it hurts so much when I wake up. I feel so guilty and that I'm responsible for something. But I don't know what! I can't sleep properly. It terrifies me. Yet all I can remember in the morning is suffering and death."

The Doctor did not move from his position, and Jack loved and appreciated him for it. He did not want anyone feeling sorry for him and coming over to sympathise with him. He never understood how, but he felt as though this was _his_ cross to bear – that he alone deserved all this pain…

The Doctor gazed at Jack with such tenderness in his eyes that Jack had never known in anyone, and for that moment, when the Doctor looked into Jack's own eyes, it felt as though he wasn't alone.

"How long have you been having them...?"

"I don't know… Before I met you… Before the TARDIS… But when I went with you and Rose, they stopped for a while. For those few short days that I was with the both of you, I could forget. But then, back on Satellite 5. Back in Torchwood… They came again…" Jack's eyes clouded over with pure fear.

The Doctor could barely stand to see Jack so upset and distressed, and had to force every fibre of his being to stay put and not go over to him. Something told him that Jack would feel trapped and weak, and that he would instantly close up… No – much better to keep still.

"Can you…" the Doctor hesitated. "Are you sure you can't remember anything?"

"Fire." Jack's voice cracked slightly. "I can remember fire… And the smell… I can smell:-" he shuddered, not able to continue.

"Smell what?" the Doctor encouraged gently.

"I can… I can smell," he choked, "flesh. Burning flesh." And tears sprung to his eyes.

* * *

**A/N: Well there ye go. Another chapter. I'll try and update soon, I promise. But if I don't, it's because I'm reading all of your own stories :P**

**I wasn't entirely happy with the end part of this chapter; my descriptions are pants I know; but what can you do?**


	9. Hatching a plan

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys :S There's no excuse for it really - I hope this chapter makes up for it

* * *

****Chapter 9**

After a few minutes of sitting and thinking, the Doctor had gone to find something in the medbay to help Jack sleep, deciding to tackle Jack's problem in the morning.

He had soon returned to Jack, carrying a small vial of bright purple liquid, and was currently trying to persuade Jack to drink the stuff.

"What did you say it was?" Jack eyed the content warily.

The Doctor sighed, "Voloptrax. It'll help you sleep!"

"I don't _need_ help sleeping!"

"Fine, it will give you a _dreamless_ sleep!" he said exasperatedly, pressing the vial into Jack's hand and walking backwards subtly; away from Jack…

…But not subtly enough for Jack not to notice.

"Why are you backing away?" Jack's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Oh no reason!" the Doctor said airily, an innocent look on his face.

"Doctor." Jack warned.

The innocent look slid off his face, and he looked nervous all of a sudden. "Well. I um. Voloptrax isn't the _nicest_ of all medicines… And well. Your body might react badly, and it can sometimes be lethal and:-"

"LETHAL?!" Jack yelped as the Doctor winced. "So you're basically feeding me poison?"

"No. Jack. Of course I wouldn't… But I mean. As with all medicines there is a small risk factor."

"Of course," Jack growled. "And just how many people have died from this?"

"C'mon Jack. The likelihood is very small. One in a million… Or one in a thousand… Or maybe:-"

"Doctor!" Jack barked, "I swear, if I die, I will come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" and before the Doctor could reply, he downed the liquid in one go.

Without a sound, Jack's eyes immediately slid shut, and his head fell back onto his pillow. The Doctor tentatively went to him, and saw that, to his relief, Jack's chest rose and fell as he breathed in and out.

Of course he wasn't dead. There was no way Jack would've died.. The Doctor was just an overprotective fool in his old age… Still, no harm in attaching a heart monitor to the sleeping man… Just to be sure.

After successfully setting the machine up, the Doctor happily trundled off to the library to do some serious thinking. He knew he'd be in peace for nine hours at least, thanks to that clever Voloptrax – and knowing Jack, it'd probably be longer.

As the Doctor slumped into his favourite armchair, book in hand and glasses on, he allowed himself a small smile.

"I'll sort this out first. Then I'm coming to get you Rose Tyler," he murmured to himself.

* * *

He must've drifted off to sleep, because Jack was roughly shaking him.

"Doctor wake up!"

The Doctor mumbled incoherently to himself, dribbling hanging from his chin.

"Doctor!"

The Doctor reluctantly opened his eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the light. "Whassat?"

Jack struggled not to laugh at the Doctor's face. His hair was ruffled all on one side, dribble all over his chin, and his glasses were so scew-iff that one side was in his hair, while the other rested on his cheek – Jack had never seen him look so bewildered.

"Doctor." Jack snorted.

The Doctor sat up fully. "Mmm? What?" he clumsily removed his glasses as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Well I just came to find you. I woke up alone…" Jack pouted as the Doctor rolled his eyes. "That stuff you gave me really worked! No nightmares!"

The Doctor smiled slightly. "Oh yea. I was thinking Jack. About those nightmares… I can…" he began tentatively, "I may be able to get rid of them."

For a split second, Jack's face split into a euphoric grin and he gasped. But he quickly clamped down on his excitement. "You _'may'_ get rid of them?" he asked carefully.

"I'm sorry Jack – I can't make any promises. I don't know what we're dealing with."

Jack inclined his head slightly in response, disappointment rolling off him in waves.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor repeated, whispering.

Jack pretended he had not heard the Doctor, and attempted a false cheery smile. "And just how are you proposing to get rid of them?"

The Doctor did not question the forced mood change. "I… I could go inside your memories…"

Jack paled, "go inside my memories?"

The Doctor nodded.

"But. But _why_?"

The Doctor fiddled with his ear nervously. "Well," he began. "Nightmares and dreams are all created by the subconscious mind right?"

Jack nodded his head.

"Now sometimes, the subconscious mind creates images and storylines using the imagination… But this is not usually the case with recurring dreams." The Doctor glanced at Jack before continuing. "A recurring dream or nightmare is usually a sign that you are worried about something in your life. But in your case, I believe it's something else. Sometimes people dream about past events, and their own interpretation of it. If these events had a major impact on your conscious or subconscious mind, then they will, of course, have an impact on your dreams."

"So," Jack said slowly, "you think the nightmares are caused by a memory of mine?"

"…Or a repressed memory."

Jack's eyes shone with sudden understanding. "Of course," he breathed.

The Doctor smiled, "and didn't you once tell me that two years' worth of your memories got erased?"

Jack nodded excitedly.

"Except," the Doctor went on eagerly, "you can't just _erase_ memories. The brain is too complicated to simply get rid of them. It would be impossible to do so without damaging the hippocampus or thalamus…" the Doctor realised that Jack had got lost amongst his ramblings and sighed. "Basically, memories cannot be erased – but I think your dear friends at the Time Agency found a way to hide them from you, deep within your mind…"

"So how come I can dream about things that I shouldn't remember?"

The Doctor shrugged, "I don't know enough about the brain to answer that – no one does. When you're asleep, you have no control over body or mind – I imagine your subconciousness resurfaces those memories. So that's why you dream about them…" he trailed off into silence, his brow creased in deep thought.

"Doctor?" Jack asked after a while.

"Hmm?"

"How will finding the memories get rid of them? You said they can't be erased."

"That's why I'm not sure whether this will work – it could make the situation worse."

"Well, what was your plan?"

The Doctor clasped his fingers and began to explain. "Well, my plan is to find those memories, and bring them to the surface – so they're no longer hidden from you…"

"What!? What's the sense in that?!" Jack's voice rose in panic while the Doctor's remained as calm as ever.

"It is my belief, Jack, that you are getting these nightmares because the memories trouble you. You have to come to terms with them for this to stop – otherwise it is just going to continue."

Jack sat quietly, thinking it over. "But… What happens if they resurface and I don't come to terms with them?"

The Doctor winced, "then they will haunt both you subconscious and conscious mind… There could also be a chance of madness…"

"So it could drive me insane?" Jack sighed. "Can we not try anything else?"

"…This is the only way"

"Of course. Figures. Rather typical really. Well sure why not? I always wanted to see how fun it would be to be really crazy… Who wants to be sane?" Jack's voice was turning slightly hysterical.

"Jack." The Doctor put a hand on his arm. "You don't have to do this…"

"Yes I do… This won't stop otherwise."

The Doctor shook his head.

"I trust you."

The Doctor nodded slightly, standing up. He gestured for Jack to sit on the chair, while he pulled up a stool in front of him.

"Just try to stay still…" the Doctor gave a reassuring smile as Jack gazed worridly up at him.

"Doctor… What if I can't live with them? I have no idea what I've done… I've done some bad things in my time – what if this is worse?"

The Doctor looked him in the eye, "I promise you – whatever you've done – I won't think any less of you. You've changed since then. Don't forget that. You're a different person now."

Jack nodded.

The Doctor opened both their minds, and slipped into the oblivion of Jack's psyche.


	10. Help

**A/N: Right, I'm here again. Sorry to annoy, but this ain't a chapter.**

**I need your help.**

**I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to continue this… I mean… I didn't even GET any reviews on the last chapter, and I sure would like to know what's good/bad about this fic, cause I don't know what I'm doing right/wrong.**

**But anyway, the main point I'm writing this is because in the last episode, the Face Of Boe's message.. Well… That was kinda what was gonna happen later on in my fic; literally word for word, the secret was going to be the same..**

**So know, I don't know what to do. Should I continue? It won't be that original if I do… Or should I just stop?**

**I would like some feedback, if that's all possible.**


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